Vaclav Prospal is the Tire of the Week for week three of the DOH season. Now granted, Kevin Weekes was the Damage’s best player again this week, but we can’t do a page for the Cuddly One every week now can we? Weekes is the second best goalie in the DOH with a 4.6 ppg average, and scored 10 points this week. But we digress...

Vaclav Prospal’s best DOH season was 99-00 when he finished with a .97 ppg average in the NHL. This season, both his NHL and DOH ppg averages are a gaudy 1.5 ppg. During a tough week for the mighty Damage, only Weekes (10) and Roy (4), scored more than Vaclav Prospal (3).

We spoke with Prospal and discussed his success this season.

So how do you explain your recent scoring prowess?

I’d have to say it was my off-season conditioning drills. This summer I started lifting half naked men with one arm.

Well that’s certainly unusual.

It’s not as strange as you might think it is—

Oh yes it is.

Well, a number of guys in the league have started trying it. Martin Straka got me turned on to it. That story about the weight bench falling on him—not true. Try dropping 350 lbs of a half naked John Goodman on you. But you know the DOH; the coaches never like to talk about the real cause of an injury.

Sounds dangerous.

It can be, but there’s nothing like it. I actually got the Big Show off the ground this summer when I joined the HNMLL (the "Half Naked Man Lifting League"). Big Show is over 7 feet tall and weighs more than 500 pounds. It was a rush.

Yeah, I’m sure. I’m looking at the picture now. It doesn’t look like you have him off the ground. And, hey, nice shirt. I like the "hootchie mama" look. And those are some great pants. J-Lo has a pair just like them.

I’m gonna...

At this point in the interview, Prospal demonstrated his ability to lift a fully clothed man off the ground with one arm. If Prospal can score goals as well as he can choke a man in mid-air, this reporter predicts continued success this season for Prospal.