This week’s TOTW has taken the hip check to a whole new level—Rob Blake (.78 ppg) is one of the best defensemen in the NHL today. He punishes forwards with violent open ice hits. He has also been helping the Damage by contributing points almost every week. This week, he did not score in a 33.5 - 28.5 loss to the Monkeys, but he came back to score two against the KRP in a 28 - 20 win for the STD.

We spoke to Rob, surrounded by stormtroopers, in the Colorado locker room.

Are you all right, Rob? Your breathing seems kind of labored.

All is as it should be. You will turn to the dark side of the force.

I really don’t know what you’re talking about.

I am your father.

No you’re not. You’re some freaky hockey player in a black cape.

Search your feelings. I AM your father.

I could not be more plain. You’re not. My father lives in Tennessee. I look just like him. Maybe you need a little more oxygen in that little breathing thing you’ve got going on there.

You have failed me for the last time.

I...can’t...ask you...questions if...you’re...going to...choke...

Who’s your daddy! Who’s your daddy!

This interview was essentially terminated when I passed out. Beware of Rob Blake—he has...powers...